Friday, May 21, 2010

here we go....

so here i am on my i have been on my couch for the better part of the last seven months. why, you ask? oh, for a myriad of reasons. it started with severe headaches that turned out to be a spinal fluid leak. then, my pituitary gland quit working correctly (what is a pituitary gland? i know, my exact thought!) which has caused many other random problems. what problems it hasn't caused, the obscene amount of steroids (no, not the "i want to pump (clap!) you up!" kind) have. so...i have lived the better part of the last seven months from my couch, (yes, i have formed a nice permanent divit into one cushion) unable to function much. unable to live my life. unable to raise my three adorable kiddos. why is this happening? why am i not better yet? why in the world can't the MANY doctors i have seen figure this out? i have absolutely NO idea. but i do know God. and i know He is good. all the time. He can't be anything but that. so...i have decided to start blogging. i needed to months ago. really, i did. i love to write. anyone who knows me at all knows i talk way too much. and i have had waaaaaay too much alone time over these last seven months with my social calendar coming to a screeching halt, so writing should be a good release for me. i will try to keep this up. who knows what all i will talk about. i will probably use this to update on my medical drama, and trust me, there is drama. i will probably use this to vent about this and that. i will probably use this to talk about my silly and fun family. i will probably use this to speak openly to the nothingness that is the void of "out there" cyberspace world, and who knows who would read it? i will definitely use it to praise God every chance i get for sticking with me through it all and for not giving up on my scrawny spite of my pity parties...and my worry fits...and my "why me?!? moments that happen way too often. so, friend or stranger...whoever you are....i guess this is where we begin. welcome. not sure what you are getting into. not sure what i am getting into. but i we go.......

1 comment:

  1. Caroline,
    You're story is touching as I am also a suffer of a CSF leak which my Dr.s can't locate. I've had 5 blood patches and horendous tests!! I can't take any more of these painful tests! You say that your pituitary gland quit working?
    I'm intersted to know more about how this affected you as my family Dr. feels that my leak also affected my pituitary gland and I'm now awaiting to heare from an Endocrinologist. Still having alot of pressure in my head and have horrible hot flashes, so I have another mri scheduled this month and a neuro appt. in April. Please email me at with some more information.

    Thank you and God bless!